LOVE RIVAL OBLITERATE
by Sasameyuki
Summary: Yugi makes plans to obliterate whoever Yami is with so he can get Yami to himself. Joey is not happy with Yami for stealing his love. So they decide to do something about it, in their own ways.
1. Plans

One-shot story attempt to make fun of certain yaoi pairings even though I'm a yaoi supporter. I did this while high on caffine so this shouldn't make any sense;

Disclaimer: I OWN Yugioh. Is that hard to understand? NOT!

Rating is subject to change but PG-13 will do for now.

Now on to the fic…

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Yugi cackled evilly, sitting at his desk, while he added some last minute touch-ups to his ultimate plan. "My plan is faultless! After hours of sick, twisted research, I've finally created the ultimate plan!! YAMI WILL BE MINE!!!"

Yugi rolled out the blue poster board he was working on. The top was titled, OPERATION: OBLITERATE THE SEAHORSE. Below the title were some illegible diagrams along with some scribbles indicating Yugi's plan of homicide. Mainly, it had to do with a particular stick figure with an arrow pointing to it with the name "Kaiba" along with some images that supposedly mutilated said stick figure.

Yugi revised his plans. This, for sure will make his Yami his. At the sheer thought of that, Yugi began to cackle again.

Running footsteps pounded down the hallway and the door to his room was flung open.

"Yugi!" Yami called, abruptly stopping Yugi in his mid-cackle. Fortuanely, for Yugi, Yami didn't seem to notice.

"Hai, Yami?" Yugi replied innocently, quickly rolling up his plans of homicide. _Yami must not know!_

Yami strided in wearing a long-sleeved ebony shirt that exposed a large portion of his midriff, especially around the stomach. The sleeves flared outwards at the wrist. The shirt itself was loosely laced at the front. The backside, however, was completely covered. Black leather pants tightly wrapped his legs.

"How do I look?" Yami as hopefully, turning so Yugi can examing every angle of his outfit. He struck a pose for emphasis.

"YOU ARE TOO SEXY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!" was what nearly came out of Yugi's mouth the moment he took in Yami's outfit. But he managed to control himself.

"Wow! You look great, Yami," Yugi complimented in his usual cheerful voice. _Not to mention sexy as well. _It was true. The outfit did correspond with Yami's body curves, nearly able to make any desperate person want him. The spirit always seems to have good taste in clothes.

"You really think so, aibou? I'm glad to hear that," Yami said, relieved. "Should I add anything else?" Yugi slowly shook his head, still in awe at him.

"Ok then, I guess I should get ready for tonight." Yami turned to leave.

"Matte, Yami! Where will you be going?" Yugi called, jumping out of his chair.

"To Seto's place. You know, my boyfriend…" Yami replied, dreamily drifting off in a love bubble at the sound of his lover's name.

"KAIBA?!?"

"Well, DUH!!" Yami snapped, shaken out his fantasizing dream. "He asked me out so I'm going to have dinner with him at his place. I have to get ready…and by the way, aibou, what is that?" Yami curiously inquired, pointing to the rolled-up poster board Yugi clutched in his hand. He had finally noticed.

_Damn it! Why am I still holding this!?_

"This is my uh… school project! I was working on it before you came in," Yugi nervously answered, hoping that Yami will buy that. He mentally prayed Yami wouldn't ask to look in it. He would rather die. _Oh yea, I need to ask Ryou with our own school project._

To Yugi's relief, Yami just shrugged and dropped the subject, obviously not in the mood. "I see… I first thought that was an operation to kill off Kaiba. Strange of me to think that way, isn't it?" Yami laughed. "And what's with that cackling earlier?"

_SHIT! I was too careless!_

Uh… I was, um…trying to laugh like Bakura!" Yugi replied hesitantly. Wrong thing to say.

Yami gave Yugi a strange LOOK.

Silence.

What Yami did next took Yugi completely by surprise. The former pharaoh grabbed his hikari by the shoulders and shook him. HARD.

"ANSWER ME, AIBOU! HAS THAT TOMB ROBBER GOTTEN TO YOU?!? DID HE TELL YOU OF ANY PLANS TO MURDER ME IN BED?! WHAT'S HIS OBJECTIVE??!!"

_Actually, I caught his homicidal fever to kill off your boyfriend so you will belong to me._

"Nothing, Yami! Bakura didn't do anything!!" Yugi desperately reasoned, trying to calm the paranoid spirit.

"THAT'S A LIE, YUGI!!" Bakura probably blackmailed you to say that! Oh my poor little aibou, getting threatened like that…" At that, Yami burst into tears. "He must have been so scared and helpless…" (Yami's lost it.)

Yugi slowly inched away from Yami, eyes wide. Even though Yami was known to sometimes act as if he were in PMS due to his violent temper, this was nothing like it.

"Um, Yami…"

"Why would he do this if he has his own hikari to terrorize? Well, he won't get away with terrorizing my aibou…" Yami ranted on.

"Yami…."

I oughta take that repulsive Ring of his, twist it around his neck, then shove it up his ass and-"

"YAMI!!"

"- Yeah?"

Taking a deep breath, Yugi tried to explain. "For the last time, Bakura has nothing to do with this." When Yami opened his mouth to protest, Yugi held up a hand to stop him. "And Bakura did not tell me to say so. Just cut it out, Yami"

Yami thought about it. "You're right, Yugi," he finally admitted. "I guess I didn't know what got into me." He glanced at the clock hanging above the wall. 5:30 It showed a Dark Magician in the center with his staff representing the minutes and his hand representing the hours. Yugi had been excited when he'd won that from his school carnival.

"I better get going then. Seto-kun will pick me up in an hour." Yami quickly left the room.

Yugi wearily rubbed his temples and sat back down on his chair. The phone suddenly rang, breaking his thoughts. He reached across his desk to pick up the receiver.

"Moshi moshi?" he answered.

"Yugi!" came a very familiar voice.

"Hey, Jounouchi-kun! How are you?"

"Fine, buddy. I just wanted to know how you're doing with your project."

"I haven't started yet. Did you?"

"Nah. I'm gonna work on it with Honda later at his place."

"You better not procrastinate this time, Jou," Yugi warned. On the other line, Jounouchi snorted in laughter.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. Anyways…" Jounouchi drawled, "What's up?"

"Nothing much. Yami's going out with Kaiba and I was just about to call Ryou before you called."

"Oh I see- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!!"

Yugi had to hold the phone away from his ear so it wouldn't shatter from Jounouchi's voice. He quickly pressed it back to his ear.

"Is something wrong?" Yugi asked, concerned for his friend. On the other line, Jounouchi heaved a sigh.

"Nothing, Yugi. I guess I'll talk to ya later."

"Ok. Bye Jounouchi." Yugi hung up. _What was that all about? _he wondered_._ He then dialed Ryou's number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Bye" Jounouchi hung up, eyes blazing. _After all his attemps to attract Kaiba, this is how he gets repaid?! That Yami has to go steal all his attention._ _That spikey-haired midget will pay for stealing Kaiba. HIS Kaiba. _Although Jounouchi would never admit it, he has admired Kaiba for a long time. And he will NOT let all of his efforts become wasted to nothing.

Yami must die.

Remember, this is a one-shot attempt. There probably won't be a continuation or ending to this. So R&R and flames are welcome

Kaiba means "seahorse" in Japanese.


	2. Yami and the door

I had this on file for a while but forgot about updating. Sorry pplz ;

Disclaimer: Even though I own lot of Yu-gi-oh doujinshis, I DO NOT own Yu-gi-oh itself.

Warning: Yami has very low IQ in here! If you don't like, then don't read.

* * *

"...okay, Yugi. We'll find a time to work on it. Bye." Ryou hung up his phone and carried his plate to the living room, where his yami idly lounged on the couch watching TV, his expression clearly defining boredom. He didn't seem to notice as Ryou sat next to him. 

"So, who was that?," drawled Bakura, channel surfing.

"That was Yugi," Ryou mumbled, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"About-?"

"Our school project. We need to work on it."

"Hehehe," chuckled Bakura. "It sounded more like a plan for him to persuade you to band with him so he could kill off Kaiba for stealing that stupid pharaoh, whom he's in love with, right?" He elbowed Ryou.

Ryou gaped at Bakura.

"Were you listening to us?" he asked, suspicious. Eavesdropping was one of Bakura's talents.

"Nah. Just a stupid guess I thought of. Even if it were true, I would have helped."

Ryou resumed to finishing off his sandwich. "Now that you mentioned it, Yugi did tell me that Yami was going out with Kaiba tonight."

"Yeah yeah whatever." Bakura was clearly uninterested in listening to Ryou talking about his telephone conversation. Then the truth sank in. "HE WHAT?!" Bakura yelled, abruptly sitting up. Startled, Ryou erupted in a coughing fit to rid the water that went down the wrong way.

"BAKA! Don't scare me like that!" Ryou yelled back, trying to wipe off his shirt.

"THAT FREAK WILL PAY!!" shouted Bakura, not paying attention to his hikari. "Come Ryou," he said, dragging Ryou up from the couch. "We need to make plans."

"Wait! What's going on?"

* * *

"Stupid thing," Yami grunted as he tried to pull the front door open. "How the hell does Yugi open this shit?" 

Yami noticed the door had a few dials and a knob. But no matter how much he twisted the knob and dials, the door wouldn't budge. What he DIDN'T know was that the dials needed to be turned so they unlocked, then turning the doorknob to open.

_I mean seriously! Why can't people just bar their doors with a plank?_

No matter how hard he scratched, pounded and pulled at the door, it refused to budge. Mind Crushing the door didn't seem to help either. Growling, Yami aimed a nice hard kick at the door.

**BLAM!**

"ITAI!!!" (1)

"Yami, is something wrong?" Yugi called from upstairs, hearing the racket.

"N-nothing's wrong!" Yami hollered back, clutching his throbbing foot. _At least not until I kill this door. Maybe there is something that can._ Rewarded with a sudden idea, Yami dashed to the storage closet (door is opened by jerking the knob).

He came back weilding a heavy axe(which belonged to Grandpa) he had managed to pull out of the closet. He positioned the sharp blade against his obstacle to freedom, raised it over his shoulder and was just about to bring the blade down when- Yugi cried out.

"YAMI!!"

Yami caught himself just in time and wildly swung the blade away from the door. Unfortunately, the blade embedded itself deeply into the wall next to him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Yugi shrieked, horrorstruck. "That thing's dangerous!! You could have hurt someone or yourself!!!"

"I was….just trying to open the door," Yami answered sheepishly, looking at the axe blade jammed in the wall.

"You mean this?" Yugi asked as he unlocked the door and opened it in just a couple of seconds. Yami jawdropped.

"Uh… Yami…" Yugi said, nervously looking at his mouth.

Yami picked up his jaw and replaced it. "Oops. Um, yes, that. Hey, Kaiba's here! Well, see ya later, aibou." He dashed out the door to Kaiba's awaiting limo.

"Yami! Wait!! How are you going to get back in?!?" But Yami didn't hear. _Oh well, leave it to Yami to figure out how to get back in if I'm not here to open the door._ Sighing, Yugi closed the door. _I do hope he has enough sense to use the doorbell. Now back to my plans…_

Before doing that, Yugi carefully pulled the blade from the wall. However at that moment, Grandpa came down and gawked at the gash in the wall and the axe in Yugi's hands. "Yugi, what did you do to the wall?!"

"NO! Grandpa, it's not what you think it is!"

"What took you so long?" asked Kaiba as Yami got in the limo after testing the door several times.

"It was nothing. Just a little run-in with my aibou," Yami smirked, settling next to him. He did not plan on making himself look like a fool when it comes to opening doors, especially in front of Kaiba. "And why didn't I hear a hello?"

"Was it something about a door?(2)"asked Kaiba, interested, ignoring the second question.Yami scowled. "Shut up."

Fearing that Yami would start his PMSing except that it's ten times worse, Kaiba changed the subject. "It is rather early now so why don't we stop somewhere first?"

"Like where?" grumbled Yami sourly, his happy mood broken.

"You'll see," Kaiba laughed as he motioned for his chauffeur to start off.

* * *

(1) JapaneseVERY dramatic way to say 'ouch' 

(2) Isn't weird that some people seem to be a psychic here? Well, expect lots of that from now on.

Please R&R 


End file.
